The Great Twitter Fizzler

At what age does fizzling out become inappropriate? I would say 30 but what do I know? Over the winter I began dating seeing eating dinner with an older man. A REALLY older man-like 44. I thought ok- this is different. I met him three years ago when I transferred to Illinois as a Writer/Producer. I remember not really caring for how he handled his business back then. He was very demanding and tried to dictate how I was going to get our project done. I didn't dislike him- I just never wanted to work with him again. I also never took the time to get to know him which was unfair. Fast forward two years and we randomly began speaking on "black Twitter". Black Twitter is really really small so I don't know who followed who but he asked me out for dinner after I realized who he was. I accepted. Since I no longer work at his place of business I thought we'd start anew. Was he what I'd been praying to God for since the age of 16? Not exactly but close-ish. He's black, taller than me, has a relationship with God, loves his mom, has a job, etc. There were also things about him that weren't in my list of must haves I didn't like: he's been married, has a daughter, is perpetually late and is 13 years older than me. I'd rather start my own family fresh but I thought "well the old folks at church always say your blessing might not come in the package you expect" so I went with that.


At first things went great. He called or sent texts everyday. We were Twitter and Facebook friends and he even came with an endorsement from a family friend. She  went as far as to say I was wrong about him two years ago and that he was a nice guy. Cool I thought and so it began. Doors were opened, snow was shoveled; we even took a trip up to Chicago for my cousins birthday- I'm talking the whole nine yards. Then about three months in I started noticing things not going the way I wanted them to go. Calls dropped off in lieu of texts. Now I'm a texter. Ask my family, line sisters, and best friends. I'd rather NEVER talk on the phone but when it comes to dating calls are the preferred method of communication. I mean how can I fall in love with your texts. So I voiced my desire for less texting and more phone calls. He agreed saying since he was "old-school" phone calls weren't a problem at all. Yet it never changed. Then I began inviting him to go on trips with me to Miami, Orlando, Italy and some beach in SC. He said ok yet plans were never made. The kicker however was that although he was reluctant to travel with me to warmer weather (he even dropped a black people don't go to the beach on me- SO UNTRUE with my family) - he was really excited about the possibility for a TWEET-UP. You heard me. A tweet-up. What's a tweet-up? Urbandictionary.com defines a tweet-up as a group of friends on Twitter (social network) that are planning to meet up. A request by a user to meet with friends via Twitter. I thought this was odd as I like the people I meet on Twitter but I realize they are strangers. The 44 year old speaks of his Twitter friends as if they are real people in his life. So to me a trip with the woman you're dating should sound a lot better than a tweet-up with random people but I guess not. 

There were other small things he did but in the sake of the romantic comedy relationship I sought I let them go- like the fact that he corrected things of insignificant nature i.e. texts, statuses on Facebook. I chalked it up to him just being overly critical but that's the thing. I DON'T LIKE OVERLY CRITICAL PEOPLE. Who cares if my Facebook account says I attended Illinois State University instead of the University of Tennessee? Facebook takes whatever school you attended last and puts it on your profile. Chill dude. But he wouldn't let up. He also had a really bad habit of being late for our dates. I mean LATE like really really late. I can't stand to wait for anyone because I feel like you are disrespecting my time. I don't make you wait for me so don't make me wait for you. I'd driven my car to our last date because I knew I'd blow a gasket if he was late one more time. He was never late if I met him out somewhere- go figure. Valentine's Day 2011 should have been my watershed moment or better yet the point of no return phone calls. He didn't want to celebrate but he was going to take me to dinner. Fine I said. The day of we had plans for him to pick me up at 6:00pm. At 7pm I sent him a text and said "let's just not go" since you're really late. He called to say he wasn't feeling well -AN HOUR LATE after I texted him first. I should have ended it right there. But I'm a determined woman so I went out with him again.


A few weeks after the V-Day debacle I brought up my Florida trip again. After discussing this and getting nowhere things only got weirder. I've read many blog posts about not following your significant other on Twitter and boy were they right. One night before I gave Twitter up for Lent I saw him tweet someone  about how good they looked in their picture. Uh-oh! Flag on the play. It was at that moment I knew it was time to move on. I asked him about the girl and whether they were dating and I do believe my answer was (through text) "Drop It." Now that might not sound odd to you but I'm a talker and drop it is never going to work. I thought back to some conversations he and I had over the course of our relationship and he always used his fatherly tone when I asked him questions. I brushed it off at the time but "Drop It" was the nail in the coffin of my May-December romance. I can't feel very romantic with "the tone" coming at me. So I thought maybe we'll just be friends (loose term) but one weekend in April things changed for the final time. I'd been getting more and more irritated by the lack of calls, lateness, and fatherly tone so I planned a field trip with my mom instead of going on our usual Saturday dinner date. He said ok and that he'd talk to me when I got back. I called him the next morning. Instead of getting a call back I got a text the next day. He sent " How's your day going?" Um. What? I never answered the text. That was three weeks ago. Now I understand that he and I might not be in the same place in our lives or Twitter relationships and it isn't going to work out but I assumed that at 44 you at least end the relationship with some sort of It's not me it's you conversation right? Now I have to tell the family friend (in my Coach Denny Green voice)"he was who I thought he was!" I can't even be mad in this situation. He's a nice guy that I'm incompatible with. It happens but now what? Do I owe him a call to state  that we're done due to mutual lack of interest and incessant texting ? Do I chalk it up to fizzlers have no age limit? Was I the fizzler? Is closure always necessary? Tell me Deb fam. I think in this case he should at least call to say bye but I've been wrong before. 

Have a GREAT Thursday!