He lives on...

I just returned from a week in Tennessee with my family. To many people the word family means their immediate family: mom, dad, and siblings. They may throw in a grandparent or two but to me and my maternal family the word means: mom, siblings, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Lots of cousins. There are so many of us that I have no idea how the in-laws keep everyone straight. As I looked around at our Mother's Day celebration and our two graduation parties, I couldn't help but think how cool it would be for my grandfather to be with us.


My maternal grandfather, lovingly called Daddy by our family, died a month before my second birthday. I don't remember him and I ask my grandmother (Mother), mom, aunts, and uncles about him constantly. From all accounts he was the life of the party, a joker, full of laughter, and a cut-up. He was also loving and approachable. All of his children speak highly of him. I know that my mom Patricia and my uncle Rick miss him just in the way they tell stories about him. Yes. Stories. This is one of the things my family is famous for (that and cooking). Whenever our family is together you'd better believe stories will come out. Tales of humor, jokes, funny sayings or situations that happened to us come out when we're together. One can't help but notice that my grandfather is a big participant in many of the older generation's stories. One of my favorite stories happened on the day I was born. As my grandmother and my mom were at the hospital awaiting my arrival, my mom's best friend, Thelma, called the house to check on her. Thelma did not know my mom was in labor.


Thelma: Hello is Pat there.
Daddy: No she isn't.
Thelma: Well do you know when she'll be back home.
Daddy: Probably when she gets done having that baby.


Classic. I thought about that story for a long time and realized my grandfather was where I got my sarcastic sense of humor. He's where my mom gets her approachability and willingness to listen. He's where my aunts Shirl and Laine their comedic timing with each other. He's in my uncles Rick and Carl's teasing of their nieces and nephews. He's in the closeness my aunts Berta and Joyce share. He's in my aunt Nita's way of telling stories from the past. He's in the close relationship between my aunt May Lee and my uncle Doug. He's in the jovial morning phone calls between my mom and her brothers and sisters. He's in my cousin Corey's practical jokes. He's in the way my cousins Toron, Rashad, Stephen, Vincent, and I laugh uncontrollably when we're together. He's in the way my cousin Lanny is funny out loud while cousin Curt is funny under his breath and catches you off guard. He's also in the fact that each of my cousins and I are close to our parents and talk to them on a daily basis.


Not only does my grandfather live on in our personalities but he lives on in our need to be together. Our closeness. Our lack of fighting or holding grudges.We celebrate Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas together in some way every year. Growing up I always thought about how much he was missing. Now I know that he's there in every dinner, every joke, every celebration, every birth, every laugh, every story, and every minute we spend with my grandmother.


I'm always grateful that I come from a funny family that would rather spend time laughing and eating than fighting and arguing. I know that my grandfather can see us from where he is and I can just imagine he's laughing right along with us.